With all the chatter surrounding Beyonce these days, her pregnancy with twins, her album of the year loss, and the incredible 2017 Grammy performance, I started to think back to that day in April when Lemonade dropped. After picking my jaw up off the floor, I realized that Beyonce let the world into the skeleton closet of her marriage. Looking back, of course, I figured half of it was for publicity, because it always is. And with everything we’ve seen from Bey since, it might even be safe to say that the album wasn’t really about her marriage at all. However, for the sake of this post, let’s assume that 100% of it was true and Bey was pouring out her heart–and marriage woes– to us. That got me to thinking about relationships, dirty laundry, and whether Lemonade has a place in our everyday lives.
I know I’m not alone when I think about what my mother and grandmother used to tell me about relationships. “You never want to air out your dirty laundry regarding your relationship issues”. And this was especially true when you didn’t want to leave your spouse. In the case of my interpretation of Lemonade, that’s exactly what happened as by the end of the album, our girl was still happily married. To be fair, by the scope of the reactions to the album, countless women found healing in the tracks of Lemonade, we could all relate to the anger, sorrow, and heartbreak. But when it comes to you and your relationship…do the same rules apply? Outside of your therapist, are you spilling your deepest complaints about your spouse to the world–hopefully not via social media–or are you keeping things between the two of you?
Me personally, I’m of the latter opinion. And, as a wife, I know how easy it is to vent to another person about my marriage. In my case, my mother. But before you put on your yellow dress and put hot sauce in your bag, think about it. Once Lemonade dropped, the memes and parodies of Jay were endless. And while I laughed at a few, there is a deeper message there. One that women should keep in mind when venting to friends and family. When you complain about your spouse to other people, they will begin to form an opinion about him. Then when you finally get over whatever issue you are having in your relationship, you’ve moved on, but your people will still have a negative opinion about your mate. I’ve learned that in many cases–and as long as there is nothing serious like abuse in any form–it is much better to bite your tongue and let things cool down between you and your spouse. And, after you kiss and make-up, you’ll be glad you never said anything bad about them.
There are, of course, exceptions to this. Like, if you’re just dating someone, sing like a bird! Kidding. But, honestly, I think it’s all about discretion. Don’t hesitate to talk about the new person in your life as it can a healthy way of understanding your new love interest through another person’s eyes. A sip of “lemonade” might be cool in the beginning but I’d save the rest for myself.
What about you? Are you spilling the “lemonade” when it comes to your relationship issues? Let’s talk about it!